The Moment I Knew
by FringieDemigod
Summary: Natasha loses someone important in her life. Rating for language. Warning: character death.


**Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you a sad story of how Natasha went from Black Widow to Weepy Widow (Yeah, punch me.) This story includes a character death, you can probably guess now but I'd like you to read still. **

**I own none of the characters mentioned except for little Arlie and also, the song "The Moment I Knew"belongs to the amazing Taylor Swift.**

**Nat ;3**

* * *

(Natasha's POV)

_You should've been there,_

_Should've burst through the door,_

_With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,_

_And it would've felt like,_

_A million little shining stars had just aligned,_

_And I would've been so happy…_

I turned and shut my bedroom's door behind me, sliding slowly out of my red party dress. I slipped as easily into my nightgown and I sat down on the bed. I flopped down as my brain started replaying what had happened today.

_Christmas lights glisten,_

_I've got my eye on the door,_

_Just waiting for you to walk in,_

_But the time is ticking,_

_People ask me how I've been_

_As I comb back through my memory,_

_How you said you'd be here,_

_You said you'd be here…_

It was another party, Pepper's birthday, to be exact. I arrived just on time and I checked my watch. "Clint said he'd be here at nine-thirty." I hopped up to Pepper, handing her the box. "Aw, thanks Natasha." The blonde hugged me. She spun around to greet other guests as I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I whirled around to see my handler Phil and I smiled at him, but it faded when I saw the look on his face. "Phil? Wh-what's going on? What's wrong?"

_And it was like slow motion,_

_Standing there in my party dress,_

_In red lipstick,_

_With no one to impress,_

_And they're all laughing,_

_As I'm looking around the room,_

_But there's one thing missing,_

_And that was the moment I knew…_

Phil leaned forward to whisper in my ear. The glass in my hand dropped onto the ground, the shards jumping everywhere. I covered my mouth slowly with my hand and I ran off towards the bathroom. Phil tried to chase after me, but I saw, with the corner of my eye, Pepper holding him back. I crashed my way into the ladies' bathroom without setting an eye on the boy in an attempt to follow me.

_And the hours pass by,_

_Now I just wanna be alone,_

_But your close friends always seem to know_

_When there's something really wrong,_

_So they follow me down the hall,_

_And there in the bathroom,_

_I try not to fall apart,_

_And the sinking feeling starts,_

_As I say hopelessly,_

_"He said he'd be here."_

My breathing came out jagged as I sobbed, hidden in the innermost cubicle. I curled up and slid to the floor, gasping as tears stream down my face. I tensed hearing a knock at the door. "Natasha? It's me, Tony." The man outside the toilet said. "If you can hear me, I'm sorry about your loss. He was a great man." I sobbed even louder hearing the statement. _Love is for children_, Petrovich once told me. Damn, his speeches were right, love ruined me. The Black Widow, in a toilet, crying because her husband died on a mission. "Can you just come out? We really don't want to have the VIP missing." Begged Tony. I hit the door of the cubicle hard before yelling, "Leave me friggin alone!" There were sounds of shoes coming in contact with the floor before everything became silent. I stood up weakly and opened the door, splashing my face with water from the sink. I moved to open the door to the female's bathroom to find a four-year-old boy at the door. I froze.

_And it was like slow motion,_

_Standing there in my party dress,_

_In red lipstick,_

_With no one to impress,_

_And they're all laughing,_

_And asking me about you,_

_But there was one thing missing,_

_And that was the moment I knew._

"When is Daddy coming?" The boy asked me. I opened my mouth for words, but nothing came out. I knelt down slowly until my eyes are leveled with the boy's. "Arlie, I don't think he'll be able to make it. I'm sorry, baby." I stood up rapidly after that, running away from him. I stopped hearing him say, "Don't cry, Mommy. I know he'll be here soon." The entire room of guests was staring at me now.

_What do you say_

_When tears are streaming down your face_

_In front of everyone you know?_

_And what do you do when the one_

_Who means the most to you_

_Is the one who didn't show?_

Tears poured down my face in front of all the people and my face went a little red. Pepper stood up and walked over to me. "I'm so sorry, hon…" She whispered as I dropped into her embrace and wailed desperately. I have never done anything like this before, crying in public. Okay, so now every body knows what's wrong. I tore away from Pepper and ran out of the ball room.

_You should've been here._

_And I would've been so happy._

_And it was like slow motion,_

_Standing there in my party dress,_

_In red lipstick,_

_With no one to impress,_

_And they're all standing around me singing_

_"Happy birthday to you",_

_But there was one thing missing,_

_And that was the moment I knew…_

I could barely show up at his funeral. Arlie quickly accepted the truth that his dad won't be back anymore, that he had joined the angels in Heaven. He was a strong little boy. On the other hand, I watched dully as white roses were thrown into the casket. I didn't even dare to look at him for the last time. Once the cover was put on, I stepped forward and placed a single purple rose on top. "Hawk..." Muttered Arlie and I looked up to where he pointed. A brown hawk was flying just above us, circling the site over and over again. I looked down at the gravestone which read "Clinton Francis Barton, 1980 - 2020. A good man, husband and father." I took a deep breath before there was a rumble of thunder and a flash of lightning. "Not me." Thor murmured. The rain started and they remaining left. I sunk to my knees and kissed the casket for one last time before standing up to guide Arlie away from him.

_You called me later,_

_And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it,"_

_And I said, "I'm sorry too,"_

_And that was the moment I knew…_

"I'm sorry, Tasha." I heard the familiar voice say. I was quiet for a few moments before I started to talk. "You know what? I'm sorry too. If you wanted another kid, I would have done it… I would have done it to have you here now… Why did you go, Clint, why?" I whimpered out the last sentence. Everything became black in front of my eyes and they flew open. I started at the ceiling as a tear moved down from the corner of my eye to the pillow. "You ass." I murmured in Russian as I started to sob again.


End file.
